Amidst the planning and the shopping and the many stressful things, taking a minute to be with the things you wish were different can be incredibly healing and supportive.

In this post, I share some simple steps for taking a few minutes to be with the wishes that you know won't come true; at least not right away, or in some cases, ever.

When it comes to even the most widely accepted traditions–such as the Thanksgiving holiday in the United States–we may find ourselves feeling more ambivalence than comfort as the holiday (and the season it kicks off) approaches.

Articles on “examples of boundaries with family” and “phrases to set boundaries with family” abound for parents like you and me during this time of the year.

And this makes sense. Once you begin learning healthy relationship and parenting skills, the unhealthy dynamics of your family of origin (or your partner's) become rather evident–painfully so at times.

What’s a healing parent who wants to build a connected and trusting relationship with their child to do about the Santa tradition?

I’ve got you covered with everything you need to know about how to talk to your kids about Santa without lying–and what to do if you already have told a fib or two about him.

What if we choose the practice of seeing grief as a reminder that we all experience loss? That everyone's losses hurt, and that we are meant to remember and bring care to ourselves and each other when they do?

And that being with our pain is not a detriment to our growth. But rather the very path to growing.

Growing that brings healing and love not only to ourselves, but to those who came and went before us. And to those who will follow.

What you really do need, and really don't need, to be a damn good parent. Because in the end, none of the things that we need in order to make it in a capitalistic world will matter much if we don’t know how to value, attend to and meet our children’s needs. As well as our own. And if we don't know how to help ourselves so that we're moving in the direction of what our hearts really want. Or if we don’t even know how to identify those heart-driven longings. 

What is actually helpful to humans when we are behaving poorly?

I’ve listed below some actions that can be extremely helpful to our children when they are thinking, saying or doing things that, deep down, they really don’t want to be doing.

In other words, when they show up in life in ways that do not serve them well.

Here’s the thing though. The actions below, need to come from the right person. For a child, the right person should be their trusted caregivers–not their peers, siblings, pets or unsafe adults.

It never crossed my mind during the many times that I held my crying baby, in such a way that she might know with all of her being that I could hold whatever was hurting inside of her–that I was preparing myself to offer the same steadfast closeness and holding to my dad as tears rolled from his eyes in his last conscious hours.

Do you know how to ensure that all of the feelings, good and bad, that come up for yourself and for your child during through life’s changes, will be held in a way that strengthens their sense of self and trust in the relationship with you? In a way that prepares them to turn towards themselves with care, and opens their heart to receiving support from others when life gets hard in the future? In other words, do you know how to move through transitions with them in a way that teaches them how to be truly open, flexible and resilient people?

A Fathers Day reflection on how our fathers–whether present or absent–leave one of the oldest imprints on our stories, why good fathering matters so much, and what exactly is good fathering.

For the ones who can’t just say, “let’s exchange flowers and say Happy Mother’s Day, and call it a good one."

For those of you who through motherhood, have finally unearthed your longing for something more true and more connected for yourselves and for your families.

For the ones who open these emails expecting a message that resonates with you beyond the level of practical advice, and feels like an embrace from one mother’s soul to another’s.

Do you wonder how to help our children to make sense of the suffering of our world, and our particular agency and responsibilities to each other as fellow humans?

After years of supporting parents like you, who want to help their children make sense of the world’s injustices through a lens of love, humanity and justice…I want to share two important things that matter a lot in order for our kids to be able to do this.

Listening with understanding means we listen in a way that finds the other person’s words or behavior entirely understandable, regardless of how much we actually understand it in our heads. Here’s how to do it.

What if the problem was just as much about the culture of healing that was lacking in our childhood homes, as it was about the actual wounding that we experienced there?

Enjoy the deep connection with our children that so many of our parents missed out on with us.

It’s not your job to never crumble as a parent. Here’s how to help your family through the really hard times.