Doesn’t it get boring?
Just a week ago I was preparing for the Healing Parents Wildflowers retreat, as you may recall. And now, a few days after the retreat, I am remembering when I started Healing Parents.
I remember when I first got the bug to start this community. I had done so much learning, healing and hard work to find my center. To cultivate a sense of spaciousness and confidence within. To believe that despite all of the pain I carried, I could create a loving and joyful home for my family.
I had seen a lot of conscious parenting spaces on the internet, which often felt more like lectures and tips, than spaces to grow. And while I wanted to create a parenting space that didn’t feel so "lectury" and "tipy", I wasn't sure exactly what that would look like.
So I formalized my training, continued learning on my own, and started to practice coaching with real live, beautiful humans.
And before I knew it, we had created a space that centered solid and timeless teachings about healing and parenting; without fear-mongering or tapping into people’s vulnerabilities in order to “get” them to do things the “right” way. After all, if we know this is not how we want to treat our children, why on earth would we treat each other and ourselves this way?
It was a space that encouraged parents to practice new things. That reminds you that you get to try, even if you are afraid you’ll mess it up. And that, in fact, you get to mess it up, too!
A space where practicing your way into the kind of life you want for you and your family, is respected as your right. And that practicing those new ways of being, it is an extension of your goodness and truth. And not an externally imposed obligation based on someone else’s supposed superiority or expertise.
And thanks to the powerful learnings from my Hand in Hand certification program, as well as the clear requests of the early members of this community, I knew that Healing Parents had to offer what I had come to understand to be the lifeblood of good parenting: community. At least one other person walking a similar path. To witness us in our learning, our embodiment of the teachings through practice, and all of the feelings we experience along the way.
Here’s a slideshow of last weekend’s retreat, where a small group of mothers from this thriving online community finally hugged and gathered in person!
And more on "the pause"...
Another thing you may remember from last week’s email, is the idea of the pause as a way to cultivate our connection to our center. Maybe you also reflected on the ways this can help your healing and parenting journey.
I wonder though, were you left with the impression that once we live a more centered life, our experiences also get, weeell…kind of boring?
Ok, so here’s the thing. Living a more centered life DOES get more boring, sometimes.
AND…instead of feeling like you have to “stir the pot” when that boredom comes to visit, you can actually sit with the discomfort it brings.
And also...because you aren’t running away from boredom (and the feelings that lie beneath it), you also tend to experience some pretty fun things more often, too.
Good things! Like the following, for example:
Really resftul rest.
More direct and frequent access to your creativity.
Calm enthusiasm about life and experiencing it with our people.
Feeling more naturally drawn and receptive to healthy pleasure, joy and fun.
Having ideas of fun things to do, and a realistic optimism about them going well.
Easeful belly-laughs while looking someone in the eyes and experiencing that undeniable sense of shared reality.
Oftentime, it is from the perspective of your center that you are able to distinguish between: things are familiar because they remind you of the unhealthy dynamics you might have experienced as a child; and things that stir up the kind of enthusiasm and initiative that serve you and your relationships well.
If these things make you want to enrich your practice of the pause, stay tuned for next week’s email on things to think about when practicing the pause.
For now, let’s recap a little from last week:
The pause is a helpful thing you get to try, even if you stopped allowing yourself to do it for as long as you remember.
The pause helps you to remember your center (the truest version of beautiful you), and grow your trust in yourself over time.
The pause is a helpful way to choose ways of being, thinking and acting that align with your highest values (compassion, connection, kindness, authenticity, for example).
The pause is not just some “mindful mamma” hack to help you behave better (although it does help us to be more accountable when we need to be).
Check out my next blog “I didn’t say it but I sure was feeling it” where I share more with you about how to practice the pause.